Thursday, 23 October 2014

A Brief Observation

I think that my cognitive abilities are improving.  Thank heavens!  Though I don't suppose I should celebrate too soon.  Instead, I find I am being overcome by a sort of lethargy.  I can sit for long periods of time, thinking of nothing in particular, doing nothing in particular.   Either that or I sit and play solitaire on my I-pad for hours on end.  I've had to ration the card playing but I find myself still reaching for my tablet with the intention of playing again!  If Naomi, my daughter wasn't here to tell me to do certain things, I wouldn't do anything.

Monday, 20 October 2014

Once More unto the Breach, Dear Friends

How many times have I said that I am going to start writing in this blog again and how many times have I failed to do so?  Don't answer that question, I certainly have no intention of doing so! However, I do intend to start writing here again.  I have come to the conclusion that I wrote here in the past because I had a need to do so and stopped because I didn't.  My husband of 37 years died 10 days ago and I have rediscovered the need to write again!  If what I have gone through so far is anything to go by, I have a lot to explore, examine and puzzle about, and as I have discovered in the past, writing helps me do that.

I suppose I will have to make some changes on this blog first.  It is no longer about surviving cancer, though here's hoping I have.  I think the focus will have to be on surviving the mourning process and whatever may happen to me next.  And even in that last sentence, there is a kernel of what I don't want.  I don't want things to happen to me.  I want to make sure that the next stage of my life is a series of events orchestrated by me, not by others and not by circumstance alone.